Jokes
Journey ..
*Break
Into the House*
A
man went
to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken
into his
house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"
No, no,no
!" said the man. "I want
to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I`ve been
trying to
do that for years!"
***********
*
Lost Wife
*
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and
asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"
Why
?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of
nowhere."
***********
*Teacher*
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?"
said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister,
why
do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually
I
don't
,"
said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by
yourself."
***********
*
Hearing
*
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of
years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of
hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said,
"Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
can
hear again."
The gentleman replied, "
Oh, I havn't told my family yet
. I just sit around and listen to the
conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
***********
*
Wedding
*
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother,
"Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day
of
her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment,then said, " So,
why is the groom wearing black
?"
***********
*
Dream
*
A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced
enthusiastically to
her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's
day! What do you think it means?"
With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."
That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to
his wife.
With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find
a book
entitled - " The
meaning of
Dreams
".